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Tan Pratonix
Tan Pratonix Triolet / Mauritius, Male, 57
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Latest 5 Poems of Tan Pratonix

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Tan Pratonix's last comments on poems and poets

  • POEM: Little Songbird by Donald R Wolff JR (10/5/2016 10:09:00 PM)

    Enjoyed this lovely poem.
    Nice rhythm.
    Rare to see such good clean poetry on Poemhunter.

    Small corrections needed:
    No comma after May. 'May has brought the morning sun'
    No comma after foliage:
    Last line: No need for dash after family. It should be A songbird family in our tree'.
    The last stanza needs some revision: You are trying to say that the songbird returned with a family. But line 2 of the last stanza tells us of just the songbird, not his mate and family.

  • POET: Neal Beightol (10/5/2016 9:57:00 PM)

    Brilliant talent. Some exquisite poems.
    I find it very hard to come across good poetry on Poemhunter.
    A joy to read some rare gems by this writer and poet.

  • POEM: Where Day Unfolds by Neal Beightol (10/5/2016 9:54:00 PM)

    Superb. I wish there was more such poetry on PoemHunter, but this site has been invaded by the Ninjuns (as I call them) .
    Memorable lines: Meadows brushed with summer’s gold...Where autumn chested robin sways
    On cattail clumps ascending spire; ....The night swift climbs the late day breeze
    Staccato thrusts of wing and bone....

    And watch the final fiery spears
    Of sunset gild the meadow blades.
    The burnished pink to grayness fades
    As Aphrodite’s star appears.

    Small suggestion: suddenly silent, as I pass
    The additional 'by' seems to affect the rhythm of this beautiful poem.

    There's lots more. Beautiful memorable imagery.

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