I like the way you elaborate on simple feelings here. So often people rely on extremeties of event or emotion, so this makes a real change. It's subtly emotive and the mentioning of sushi rasies the cute factor for me. God knows why! x
This is cleverly abstract! Through the fractured exerts we journey into the girls mind and discover her sadness. I liked the immediate setting of the diner, it makes a really good contrast with the rest of the poem. And the image of the fish kissing her eyes was lovely.