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Juan Guzman
Juan Guzman San fernando / United States, Male, 20
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5/23/2010 2:58:00 PM
4/11/2010 2:35:00 PM

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  • POEM: Let Me by Gareth Simpson (7/5/2012 2:49:00 AM)

    I dont see the point in this (the past falls away at the face of the clock
    as the sand washes off the edge of the rock
    time as it stands is washed away in the sand
    or is it dwelling inside of your head
    if you dont know its in the palm of your hands
    you might already be dead And this many a wise man from his book he has read
    the words of another that ring in his head
    many a man has lost his soul to the wind
    many a man more perfect has sinned) Being in the poem it does not go with the other parts of the poem and throws the rythom off. Also you should put withstand the heat not stand the heat, if you put stand the heat it doesnt really make that much sense. Everything else i thought was fine and i like the rythm of the poem when i skip the two big sections,

  • POEM: Love And Life And Laughter by Gareth Simpson (6/29/2012 2:47:00 PM)

    First of all i notice that the Laughter wich is in the title is not properly showed in the poem. The lines do represent love and life but laughter is only said in the second line and not really shown in the words. also what does no more on the fence represent? I could not possibly know from what i have read. Other than that placesing some punctuation in the right areas is all that you really need. The poem is fine other wise but does not really stand out like other poems and i dont really feel as if it will bring me back to read it again. Thank you

  • POEM: The Deceptive Eye by Theo Williams (6/29/2012 2:16:00 AM)

    You need to add punctation to the poem, or else every line becomes one big sentence and ruins the poem. I must say though once i got around that fact i rather enjoyed the poem very much. I plan to read your other poems in hopes that they are as good as this one. Thank you

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