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Stephanie van Oudtshoorn Cape Town / South Africa, Female, 31
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4/21/2010 3:59:00 AM
4/21/2010 2:35:00 AM
8/3/2006 5:13:00 AM
8/3/2006 4:36:00 AM

Latest 5 Poems of Stephanie van Oudtshoorn

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Stephanie van Oudtshoorn's last comments on poems and poets

  • POEM: Friend Or Foe by hamid kareem (4/12/2008 5:17:00 PM)

    Well written and in this one you have hit the nail on the head with the rythme.

    A couple of suggestions:
    In line 10 I would change 'on' to 'upon' as I think it would fit in better with the overall tone and language for the poem.
    In line 11 I would look for a word to replace 'happiness' as possibly this word is too plain when compared with the language of the rest of the poem.

    One last thing. The use of punctuation, especially the comma, could make your poems flow a little more smoothly - you may want to read it to yourself and add them where you pause whilst reading.

    Nice work.

  • POEM: A Name For My Daughter by hamid kareem (4/12/2008 5:10:00 PM)

    I really enjoyed reading this although I believe Saurabh Som was right about the rythme not being definite. There are two things I would write differently. I would change this lines:
    'dressed in clothes of silk '
    to this:
    'dressed in silk cloth'
    I would also change the 'tis' in the last line to 'it's'

    Overall, you've captured the emotion perfectly and I believe the impact poetry has emotionally on it's readers is by far the most important thing. In this you have succeed where many others don't.
    Well done.

  • POEM: Angel Eyes by Mathew Lewis (8/3/2006 6:32:00 AM)

    Beautifully written and wonderfully rhymed. It has a rhythym to it thats sucks you in and holds you there - you have read the next line, you have to know what is next - just the emotion of the speaker.

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