To Glenn Sinclair's comment about lines 9-10: They are written correctly but there should be spaces between 'the' and 'come' and the second 'the' and 'God' and then 'God' and 'come'. When I tried typing in the correct construction and submitted it my spaces were eliminated too. Which is probably what happened originally. It is a wonderful poem.
As far as Lamont Palmer's comments go I don't understand where the preachy is, if preachy means pointing the way. I don't think Ms. Olds is telling anyone that sex without love is one way or the other - the point is it's both. In my reading, at least, I see a lot of wiggle room and interpretation. And certainly anyone who has read Sharon Olds knows she is anything but 'naive'. And as far as his rules for what makes great poetry - there are none that I know of. Like all art great or otherwise as soon as you make a rule you can find the exception to it. And sometimes the otherwise is otherwise.