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  • POEM: I Had A Hippopotamus by Patrick Barrington (1/9/2012 7:43:00 PM)

    Here's the version from the British Rhyme and Rhythm series.

    I had a Hippopotamus, I kept him in a shed
    I fed him upon vitamins and vegetable bread
    I made him my companion on many cheery walks
    And had his portrait done by a celebrity in chalks

    His charming eccentricities were known on every side
    The creature’s popularity was wonderfully wide
    He frolicked with the Rector in a dozen friendly tussles
    Who could not but remark upon his hippopotamuscles

    If he should be afflicted by depression or the dumps
    By hippopotameasles or the hippopotamumps
    I never knew a particle of peace 'till it was plain
    He was hippopotamasticating properly again

    I had a Hippopotamus, I loved him as a friend
    But beautiful relationships are bound to have an end
    Time takes alas! our joys from us and robs us of our blisses
    My hippopotamus turned out a hippopotamisses

    My house keeper regarded him with jaundice in her eye
    She did not want a colony of hippopotami
    She borrowed a machine gun from from her soldier nephew, Percy
    And showed my hippopotamus no hippopotamercy

    My house now lacks the glamour that the charming creature gave
    The garage where I kept him is as silent as the grave
    No longer he displays among the motor tyres and spanners
    His hippopomastery of hippopotamanners

    No longer now he gambols in the orchards in the spring
    No longer do I lead him through the village on a string
    No longer in the mornings does the neighbourhood rejoice
    To his hippopotamusically-modulated voice

    I had a hippopotamus but nothing upon earth
    Is constant in its happiness or lasting in its mirth
    No joy that life can give me can be strong enough to smother
    My sorrow for that might-have-been-a-hippopota-mother

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